Planning a wedding can be exhausting if you have no helpers to rely on. No matter how good you are at time management, there will still be details to fix, where an extra opinion, a pair of eyes or hands will help you get through everything more easily.
Being the best man is an honour and an occasion of joy, as it shows how important and reliable you are in the life of the groom or the couple, but at the same time, the title comes with a suite of responsibilities that must assume. These don’t start and end with the celebration but mean that you are the trusted person throughout organising the event.
Who Is the Best Man or Best Person?
The best man is not chosen by chance. He must be the one who knows and understands the groom best but who is able, at the same time, to provide the necessary emotional and organisational support to make everything run as smoothly as possible.
Usually, the groom’s best friend or a close family member (brother, cousin, or, why not?, even the groom’s father or grandfather) could be the best man.
Best Man or Best Person Duties
Best man duties can be divided chronologically into previous, during or post-wedding day responsibilities. These are related, on the one hand, to logistics: choosing the wedding attire, planning the bachelor party, following the schedule, renting or returning certain products, electing gifts, etc.
On the other hand, the mission of a best man is to coordinate the groom’s team or the groom himself when needed. The emotions of the big day can overwhelm anyone, so the best man must remain the voice of reason in any situation.
The best man’s responsibilities begin right after accepting this honor (and challenge). You should ask the groom if he has a groomsmen list or needs help compiling one. As soon as you know the team, reach them and start organising the bachelor party.
Since you know the groom best, suggest some options you consider that will delight him. You must decide together when, where, how the event will take place, what gift you will prepare for the groom and possibly share the responsibilities related to the organisation (guest list, activities, related costs). Make sure everything will be ready on time and that the party will be affordable for all participants.
If the groom needs you to offer diverse advice or activities, be there for him. Whether it’s about fashion advice related to the outfit of the groom or his team, tailors or specialised stores, companies that rent suits or cars, or various suppliers, do your homework and provide him with useful information that will save him time or save his budget.
Remember that your best friend is a human being, and that it is normal to have moments of insecurity or fatigue. Be by his side because emotional support is immensely significant.
If thay have planned a rehearsal, you are not allowed to skip it. It’s the last step to the big event. You can manage your own emotions better, but also sense, on this occasion, what could go wrong and prevent it.
Wedding Day Responsibilities
Most of the responsibilities are naturally related to the wedding day. The best man must arm himself with energy, a lot of patience, but also flair and initiative to be ready at any time to meet the unforeseen with a viable solution.
First, the best man must ensure that the planned activities are followed exactly and according to the established schedule. There is no room for delays, so the groom and groomsmen must be at the right place at the appointed time.
Once you arrive at the ceremony, you will be the center of attention as ‘the lord of the rings‘. You are the keeper of the most precious symbol, so if you somehow forget the magic box or if you are not in time in front of the assembly, everyone will blame you.
Any marriage is confirmed by a legal document, signed by the bride and groom, obviously, but also by some witnesses. The best man could play one of the witness roles. Thus, you need to make sure you have your own documents to hand, presuming you need them.
Do you think that’s all? You’re wrong. The hard work is just beginning. The best man turns into a master of ceremonies at the wedding party. Along with the groomsmen and bridesmaids, he will have to deal with the guests. Driving them to the predetermined places, collecting gifts or coordinating the sequence of events are just some of his duties.
Naturally, the best man’s most important responsibility is still the groom. In addition to continuous moral support, his best person must be aware of any situation, such as providing a change of clothes in the unfortunate situation when the groom’s outfit suffers unwanted damage: stains, sweat, etc.
If the emotions need a glass of champagne to be defeated, the vigilance of the best man must prevent this glass from being one more because all eyes will be on the groom.
And since we’re still talking about emotions, the moment of toasts comes with chills for you. Your speech must be clear, funny, short, and at the same time heartful, so it should be well prepared and rehearsed in advance. It will certainly be memorable, because the groom knows how to choose the best person for this role.
At the end of the reception, you can almost breathe a sigh of relief. Everything went great, and the couple is about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime. First stop: honeymoon. And the exit from the stage must be, in turn, memorable. For this, you must have taken care of coordinating and decorating, together with the team of groomsmen, the getaway car.
The pigeons have taken flight, but you still have things to do. If, for example, you have decided to renting outfits, you will have to deal with returning clothing. You must also pay for any damages caused to them or recover the warranty paid.
You may also be asked to check in with vendors to verify if all the fees or costs are covered.
Congratulations, now you can rest!
– How many best men can a groom have?
There is no wrong answer to this question. It’s your wedding, you decide. Traditionally, you can have several groomsmen but one best man. If you cannot establish a precise hierarchy, and want to share this honor, then you can propose this responsibility to two or even more close ones.
– How do you choose the best man?
If you have a reliable person by your side, who knows you and is able to do anything for you, then you have found the answer. It is the one with whom you have shared your history: your brother, your cousin or your father, your best friend, your kindergarten classmate, your neighbor. But remember that the best man should have some important qualities: he should be clubby, available, responsible and, last but not least, a good organiser.
– Does the best man have to be a man?
There is no rule that dictates the gender of the best man. Even if she is side of the groomsmen category, you can choose a best woman / best person for this role. No one will find this inappropriate.
– How do you ask someone to be a best man?
You can pop the question in many ways; it depends on yourself and your future best man. Yes, the proposal comes with a lot of responsibility, but it’s also a great honor, so it’s unlikely that your best person will turn you down. You can therefore ask directly. It can’t be harder than the marriage proposal you’ve already made.
If you want to plan a special moment, you can propose during an event or an activity you do together. You can also prepare a gift or a card that explicitly contains or suggests the ‘Will you be my best man?’ question.